For that matter, to be sure, there are plenty of existing code4lib community members who _don’t_ think it’s important to spend time or energy focusing on being inclusive towards women or minorities. I think my role (and the role of others involved in the community who agree with me) is to convince them otherwise, and/or to just act on our own regardless of what they think. I guess I think dealing with ‘people getting the wrong message’ falls into the same boat.

I don’t know if the woman are doing it because they feel a pressure to do this, or what, but….

My response is yes!!!! This also applies to men and the comment should not be taken to apply *only* toward women. For example, my husband’s career ambitions have also changed as a new parent. A few months after our baby was born, his place of employment stated they would like to pay 100% of the costs for him to get a master’s degree and advance into higher level management. A few years ago, I believe he would have JUMPED at this opportunity, as he wanted a master’s degree…. However, he decided not to pursue a master’s, even though he could, for free. It is a total change, practically overnight, with the birth of our baby. And he is not very excited about the possibility of management opportunities, especially if it means longer hours away from the baby. Again, this is just our experience, and everyone else’s may be different. But if someone had told me a year ago our life would be so different overnight, career goals changing so quickly for both my husband and I, I would not have believed them. And you are correct, I was definitely wishing you the best in life and trying to encourage you, while also letting you know my personal experience as a career driven (and sleep deprived!) woman, close in age to you. Thanks again for writing about my comment… I am thrilled!

Perhaps you’re right — men can flirt too. They just don’t seem to do so as much as women, at least in the professional sphere. I can understand that somewhat as they don’t want to cross any lines into sexual harassment and the line can be fine; however, I will say that my favorite business contacts are those that are a wee flirtatious — male or female.

Happy New Year to you! Let me take this chance to say that, though I’ve been lurking over the last few months, you’ve challenged many of my thoughts about tech/Library 2.0 and for that I’m grateful. I can’t wait to read your resolutions for 2008. Cheers!

Indeed, you clearly stated “I don’t have the answers and these are just my feelings.” Nowhere did you represent that you were objective, and in reviewing my post I see that my words were not chosen as carefully as they should have been to convey my real point. I did not intend to sound accusatory, but seem to have achieved the exact opposite result. Mea Culpa. Generally speaking, I am in agreement with your observations and thoughts.

Boiled down, my real point was far more subtle. When it comes to gender, there is also a propensity to make assumptions about other’s assumptions. One such assumption is that, “it is easier to think of a man’s personal life as being separate from his professional life than it is to think of a woman’s personal life as being separate from her professional life.” I am male, an employer, and do not find this assertion true in the slightest. To the contrary, I find it as defining (and jealouly considered) as it is for women. However, the context is different based solely on obvious biological reasons.

Concerning Ms. Trunk, and at the risk of circuity, your statement that, “it wouldn’t shock [you] if it were true . . . [a]ssumptions are made like that all the time” is similarly based on an assumption. That is, her proferred interpretation (about her employer’s assumptions) is more probable than not. Frankly, I find the opposite to be more probable. Given the timing, content and circumstances, I find the veracity of her post (and clear implication) highly suspect, particularly because Lifestyles (which is a Yahoo outlet) does fall in-line with her writing style. In other words, it was highly probable to me that it was content rather than gender assumptions that motivated the suggestion.

Regardless, I did not miss and, in fact, agree with the majority of your thoughtful comments. However,I do believe there is merit to a “step-back approach” before making “assumptions about assumptions” with reagrd to gender issues in this country.