{"id":3927,"date":"2020-05-18T07:30:02","date_gmt":"2020-05-18T12:30:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/meredith.wolfwater.com\/wordpress\/?p=3927"},"modified":"2020-05-18T00:09:42","modified_gmt":"2020-05-18T05:09:42","slug":"recognition-insecurity-systemic-issues-generosity-and-movers-and-shakers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/meredith.wolfwater.com\/wordpress\/2020\/05\/18\/recognition-insecurity-systemic-issues-generosity-and-movers-and-shakers\/","title":{"rendered":"Recognition doesn’t have to be a zero sum game"},"content":{"rendered":"

As usual, the week the 2020 Library Journal Movers and Shakers<\/a> were announced, I saw plenty of complaints about the award and, in some cases, awardees. I\u2019ve been reading this sort of\u00a0hurtful negativity since 2006 when I was named a Mover and Shaker (and a friend of mine wrote a blog comment calling us \u201cthe high-profile, self-promoting elite\u201d) and it\u2019s the same thing every single year. I\u2019ve written <\/span>Twitter threads<\/span><\/a> in response to this in the past to help make people aware of how terrible it feels to see people disparaging\u00a0the legitimacy of an award you just received (or, worse, claiming that \u201ccertain people\u201d didn\u2019t deserve it).\u00a0But I think this also reveals many people’s insecurities in ways they didn’t necessarily intend.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Last week, there was an interesting example of this from the world of lifestyle influencers (a term that honestly makes me nauseous). Alison Roman is a cookbook author whose recipes are frequently featured in the New York Times<\/em>. I\u2019ve never made any of them, but I\u2019ve seen people all over social media raving about her recipes. <\/span>In a recent profile<\/span><\/a> she talked about her desire to be \u201cbigger\u201d than she is, but without giving up control over her brand and the charm that come with being small-time. Instead of highlighting people who have been able to walk that fine line, she instead decided to attack two women of color, Marie Kondo and Chrissy Tiegen, whom she perceives as having sold out because they sell products. The racial and gender dynamics of this were not lost on anyone, but what really struck me was how deeply, deeply insecure Alison Roman must be to feel the need to denigrate others to make herself feel more virtuous. What she did was totally shitty and racist, but it was also a window into how awful she must feel about herself inside her own head. And, while Alison might have thought Chrissy Tiegen was too big and famous to have feelings, <\/span>surprise(!?) everyone does<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

And <\/span>Alison wrote about her insecurities in her eventual apology to Chrissy and Marie<\/span><\/a> (after some pretty ridiculous tweets about HER being the one who was bullied and her words being a critique of capitalism — I\u2019m so TIRED of people making excuses for being jerks to individuals by saying they\u2019re \u201ccritiquing\u201d larger things). She talked about her \u201cinability to appreciate my own success without comparing myself to and knocking down others\u201d and how her comments \u201cwere rooted in my own insecurity.\u201d Damn right. And we can say \u201cwow, she\u2019s terrible,\u201d but I think most of us have had those thoughts at some point. \u201cWhy has x<\/em> achieved so much and I haven’t?\u201d Or \u201cwhy did they get this award when I did x<\/em> and no one cared?\u201d Or \u201cdoes x<\/em> really deserve y<\/em> more than I do?\u201d We might not express it in a magazine or even on social media, but comparing ourselves to others is a deeply human thing to do. It\u2019s also really counterproductive and can even be toxic. It certainly was toxic for me.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the midst of the Mover and Shaker vitriol (and some\u00a0lovely congratulations!) was an incredibly thoughtful and wise Twitter thread by Annie Pho that both validated the negative things people were feeling and asked them to reflect on why they feel that way:<\/span><\/p>\n

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Every year, @LibraryJournal<\/a> awards a number of people in LIS this award, and every year I see a mix of congratulatory joy, perhaps jealousy from some, and also criticism of this award. All of these feelings are valid.<\/p>\n

\u2014 stay at home club member (@catladylib) May 7, 2020<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n