Darn that dream

I’ve applied and interviewed for jobs that I have not gotten. I’ve gotten used to rejection letters and all that. Usually I don’t get my hopes up, so it’s not so bad when I don’t get it. But for the job I interviewed for in the Chicagoland area two weeks ago, I did get my hopes up. The interview went so well, so much better than any other had for me, that I really believed I would get the job. My husband came up with me for the interview, and we drove around the suburbs, looking at houses for sale and rent. We let ourselves imagine what our life would be like if we lived there. My sister-in-law, her husband, and kids live right nearby, so it all fit perfectly into this little fantasy picture of our life. I’d practically redesigned the library’s website in my head. It was a nice fantasy, and it actually made me very happy to imagine my future that way.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. I found out yesterday that I didn’t get the job. It was very close, so close that they even called my references 3 days earlier. They wished they could have hired me — I was an excellent candidate — but they were blessed with two excellent candidates. They thought I was wonderful and thoroughly enjoyed meeting me. If they had another job, they’d definitely hire me for it. I don’t know if it’s better or worse to have come so close and still not have gotten it. I guess it’s good in terms of my prospects for getting another, but bad to know that maybe if I’d said or done something a little bit differently, it may have given me an edge over my competition.

What I don’t know is how to be enthusiastic about a job without getting my hopes up. If I’m not enthusiastic, I’m sure it will come through in the interview. But if I am truly enthusiastic about it, I risk being tremendously disappointed if I don’t get it. So, for you veterans of the job search, how do you manage to do that? How do you get yourself psyched up about a job and not let yourself be hurt by not getting it? How do you imagine yourself in the job without really getting attached to the idea?

On the upside, I’ll now have plenty of time to really see Chicago, visit the museums, and go to plays and lectures (the free ones, of course). We’ll be living rent-free for a few months, so, depending on whether or not I find a job in the area, it can be either an extended working vacation or move. At least it will be more fun to be unemployed in Chicago than in South Florida, where there isn’t all that much to do that doesn’t involve spending money. I still have some irons in the fire, jobwise. I have a phone interview in a little over a week. So I’ll just pick myself up, dust myself off, and continue with the job hunt, a little bit wiser than I was before. Though I am awfully curious how other people prepare themselves emotionally for interviews and rejection.

4 Comments

  1. Aw, crud. I really wanted you to get that one.

    I confess I just give myself permission to be growly and unhappy. It passes faster that way than if I’m also mad at myself for not taking the rejection better.






  2. That sucks. I also fret over the enthusiasm/rejection cycle. I’m with Dorothea that it can help to revel in the grumpiness, at least for a day or two. Insist on being self-indulgent.

    The alternative, to curb the enthusiasm in an attempt to lessen the rejection, probably wouldn’t work anyway. And the enthusiasm is both too important and too precious to mess with.

    As soon as possible, I try to figure out a new thing to be enthusiastic about–which you seem to be doing by rearranging your Chicago fantasy. Enjoying the cultural life of Chicago for a few months sounds pretty good the way you’ve put it!

    –Joy

  3. Brian

    Really sorry to hear that you didn’t get that job, Meredith. Sounded perfect for you. Hey, have you tried alcohol after rejections? It works wonders 😉 Honestly, I think you have to be enthusiastic on job interviews, even if it leads to soul crushing depression. The nature of the beast and all. One thing that helps me is to follow up with a given company, even if I get rejected or the job. First I ask the interviewer to share with me his reasons for turning me down, and tips on what I may have done to improve my chances. Then I ask if he knows of any contacts that may be able to assist me in my job search. In my experience, interviewers are usually more than happy to help you out, once they’ve rejected you. Maybe it’s just guilt, but it works. At least that way, you can get something useful out of the process, even when it doesn’t lead to a job. Anyways, hope you have better luck in the near future.

  4. Flo Williams







    I work in the workforce development field, in other words, we help people get jobs. And there is nothing else you can do, but just suffer the rejection. All the comments so far are on track. If it helps at all, it happens to everyone. Just take some extra time to be good to yourself. Find ways to keep in touch with that library. They probably mean it when they say if/when they have another opening they would like to give it to you. Keep the relationship as current as you can. I would be careful about asking much about what you did wrong. That sounds kind of whiney, and most jobs will not tell you anyway. If you had a good rapport with someone that is your equal, send links of articles you think they would like, etc. In other words maintain relationships as best you can. I am just a student starting out and sure I will in the same boat in the near future without all your expertise. Hope something in that area opens up for you.

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