My dog, Delta, died on Monday. She’d had heart problems for some time, but you wouldn’t know it by looking at her. And she certainly never knew she was sick, energetic as she was. When it came to food, she would run and jump like a puppy. I guess that’s why it’s so hard for me to accept. She was just fine the day before she died and then she wasn’t and there was nothing anyone could do.
I first met Delta the day she was born. I was 13. I picked her out and I brought her home, in spite of my parents’ lack of interest in getting a dog. Delta was so smart, fearless and full of personality. She was such a wonderful companion and a loyal friend. Delta was with me through some of the most important years of my life and so many of my memories involve her in some way. It’s so hard to imagine a world without Delta. I can’t imagine the next time I go back to visit my parents in Florida and Delta doesn’t run over to great me. It’s just so sad. She was my best friend.
I guess this has made me think about what’s important. I’ve been so engrossed in the book and in work that I’ve hardly had time for family and friends. There are friends I haven’t been in touch with in almost a year. I see Adam plenty, but from behind my laptop. I barely leave the computer other than to sleep. Even when I was in Florida for Thanksgiving, I spent too much time on my book and and not enough time with family (especially Delta and my grandparents). If I miss a week’s worth of stuff on Bloglines, will the ceiling come crashing down? If I don’t blog for a few weeks, will people kill me? This all isn’t life or death. Yes, my book has to get done by a certain time, and it will. But I need to put a little more energy into friends, family and my own health. So I apologize if my posts get shorter or if I write less often. But I need to put the people I love and myself first.
Thank you Delta, for reminding me of what’s important. I miss you so much.
I’m sorry, Meredith. Safe passage over the Rainbow Bridge for Delta.
My condolences, Mere.
Meredith, I’m so sorry to hear about Delta.
Meredith,
I am so sorry. I lost my sweet boy, Chester, in April. He was one month shy of turning 16. He lost his hearing when he was 5 (chronic infections in his ears led me to having his ear canals removed) and then he lost his sight completely at the age of 11. After all he had been through, I was constantly amazed at what a fighter he was, so resilient and always happy despite all the obstables life had thrown his way.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him and miss him with all my heart.
So I understand completely what you’re going through right now. You have my deepest sympathy and I’ll be thinking about you.
Amy
I’m sorry, Meredith. It’s sad to think that often the only time we realise what we should be doing is when something bad happens. No one should ever feel guilty about taking breaks from blogging or the Internet!
I’m sorry for your loss, Meredith. Take all the blogging breaks you need!
You have my sympathies. Don’t apologize for wanting to take a break from the blog; your readers will wait for you. This blog is a joy to read–I’d hate to think it was a chore to write.
So sorry to hear about Delta. I lost my dear cat a couple years ago and it was also a wake up call to me to pay more attention to things outside work.
Oh, Meredith. I will keep you in my thoughts. It is so hard to lose a pet that you adore. Sending you lots of puppy love.
Meredith, My deepest sympathies. It’s heartbreaking, truly. Just two years ago I lost my Jack and I still miss him. I happened to be reading a column by Anne Lamotte that very morning. In it, she said, “Having a good pet is the closest some of us ever come to knowing the direct love of a mother, or God.” She is so right. How lucky some of us are for having known what that’s like.
Bumper sticker I recently saw: Lord, please help me be the person my dog thinks I am.
How true. They offer such unconditional love and they love us despite sometimes ignoring them when we are too busy. As Delta’s “mommy” (and Meredith’s also), I can attest that Delta was special (but every pet owner probably says that about their dog). She was smart, sassy and let you know what she wanted. Okay, maybe she had a little bit of the alpha dog in her. I wanted my freedom to come and go without what I thought was the burden of pet ownership, but find that I miss her terribly. I just got home and nobody comes to greet me with their tail wagging. Who else gets so excited that we are back home? I miss my little Delta-poo.
🙁
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my dog Cleo after 15 and a half years this past winter and not a day goes by that is not filled with thoughts of her. I was 12 when we got her so understand the place Delta had (and has) in your heart.
Meredith, I’m so sorry–I still feel sad about losing the cat I got when I was 11, who died two years ago. There aren’t many people, or creatures, who know us as we grow up, and for each one that we lose, we lose another connection to that part of our lives. It’s hard. Delta looks like she was an excellent dog–in my non-librarian capacity as a professional dog-walker, I’ve met quite a few, but she sounds like one of the best. Take the time you need to do whatever it is that you need to do. My thoughts will be with you.
My sympathies Meredith.
Meredith,
My condolences. 🙁 What a terrible thing to happen.
Meredith, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you all for your kind words. I’m doing a bit better — I have my good moments and bad. Hope you all have a very happy holidays.
Meredith, I had just added your feed to Bloglines, one of those meaning-to-do things I’ve been getting around to between semesters, and read about Delta. What a good friendship you shared with this dog, and how special that you were able to know Delta her entire life. I mourn your loss. When my cat Darcy died at 18 a decade ago, I thought I could never bear to have another pet, but time passed and a year later my foolish fat cat Emma came into my life. I hope some lucky dog or cat will enter your life in the future, when you’re ready.
I also remember a few years before that, when I was very absorbed in writing a book and suddenly realized that a friend at church was dying. Yes, you are correct to evaluate your priorities. Projects, books, blogs, all these can be important, but not as important as the people and animals we share our lives with. It’s all in the balance. I’m sure you gave Delta plenty of quality time, though. When we lose a dear friend we always wish we had just a little more time, just a few more days.
Meredith – What a special post..and so much to think about. I am so glad you had many wonderful years with Delta. I treasure everyday I have with Jake right now. My best to you!
Michael
Meredith,
I teared up when I read your post for Delta and Maggie and Fluffy and so many dogs that have gone on ahead. I wish their lifespans were closer in length to ours.
Please take as long as you need to grieve and pick up the threads of your life.
I look forward to hearing from you again when you feel like blogging again.